Mike Tysons Punch Out

Tired of all the annoying body movements, hand motion, twitches, and carpals tunnel syndrome? The new remake of Punch Out will also include the default NES style control using the keypad and A, B. Going back to the 1980’s will actually improve the Wii’s performance. Now you won’t lose the game at the final boss because your arm is aching. Perhaps enough people complained that Nintendo might start releasing this old school NES control interface to play these new games of 2009.

Games of the future… who knew we would be going back to using up, down, left, right, A, B.

Wii Boxing Gloves

Want to get in shape and train to be a boxer? Just buy these specialized boxing gloves. Almost like the real thing except you stick the ultra lame Wii Mote into them. Now you are boxing with style with leet electronic devices attached to your hands communicating with your television set. I’d love to see one of these guys video tape themselves using the Wii boxing gloves and see how cool and intimidating they look. Just don’t try to backhand anything, you will end up crushing your precious remote. Once again, Wii for the win.

House of the Dead Overkill

What a horrible game. The House of the Dead was at one point a leading arcade game in the early 90’s. It sparked a revolution in arcade games and first person shooters. Now, in 2009 The House of the Dead has… well… Overkilled its self. Sega couldn’t cut a new system after the Genesis, so publishing it to Nintendo it was.

The Wii is great for little kids right? Not with this game. This game has some of the most graphic violence and language out on the market right now. If you bought a Wii for your children make sure they steer clear of this game. Blood oozes and squirts out of bodies. You can’t go 30 seconds without hearing a foul word or derogatory vocabulary.

The game play is very slow and lagging. Due to the lack of processing power built into the Wii, action addicts will be severely disappointed in playing this game. Once the big action gets going and you are shooting tons of enemies, as the chaos fills your screen icons and sprites start to disappear at random. The Wii cannot keep up with the game and the screen jumps around a bit. To give the Wii credit, it is not *that* bad of a freeze, but this doesn’t discount there is noticeable lag.

So shoot the bad guys – if you can! Using the Wiimote can only go so far before your hand starts to cramp up and carpel tunnel syndrome sets in. The House of the Dead Overkill is another bad game, for a bad gaming console.

• Bruises
• Cuts
• Eye Strain
• Fractures
• Heart Attack
• Knee Injuries
• Motion Sickness
• Rotator Cuff Injuries
• Screen Damage
• Seizures
• Sprains
• Stroke

These injuries can come without warning or any signs. Perhaps we all should contact our local consumer safty boards and demand we would like protection from the Wii. Buyer beware of the Wii! Please refer to the Nintendo Wii Safety Manual for some great information to protect yourself from injury.

Ozzy, the dog that was killed by a Wii remote

They try to tell you the Wii is good for you, gets you involved, moving around, and perhaps lose a few pounds. Little did the White family know the Wii would kill their family dog.

The White family from Marquette Michigan just opened up their Wii for Christmas and set it up. Bowling sounds like fun for everyone right? Not the dog! The five month old miniature Sheltie jumped infront of the controller right as Kathie was swinging to bowl.

Striking the dog in the temple, it died instantly. After giving the dog a few breaths of CPR, the dog came back to life. Thankfully the Nintendo corporation will not have a lawsuit on their hands, but perhaps this is a lesson Nintendo…. Put warnings on your Wii!